Getting Back in the Game

I was shocked when I realized how long it had been since I did a blog entry. I have been doing so much at the computer: designing the brochure for my practice; learning LinkedIn; answering e-mails; writing reports; doing research etc. Surely in all that computer time I had written a blog entry?

It seems that my resistance to writing my own thoughts had used my Internet industriousness (and reading and thinking) to accomplish its end---no creative writing. Clever! What woke me up?

I have to give credit to the late Joan Erikson. I have been reading Erikson on Development in Adulthood by Carol Hren Hoare. Professor Hoare explored Erikson's published and unpublished works to discover his theories on adult development and how these evolved. She had also been conducting many interviews including some with Joan Erikson, then in her 90's. Joan Erikson, looking at her progress, said: “If you don't stop going around talking to people about Erik...this book is going to come out of your ears instead of your pen!”

I confess to the same tendency. One more article. One more book. One more exciting conversation. It doesn't look like procrastination... Still what people are writing and talking about today is so interesting and important.

People are starting to talk seriously about the realities of illness, aging, dying---the challenges and the costs. More people are questioning some of our basic assumptions like “do everything.” In my opinion even the “death panel” folks are providing a service. They are wrong, of course, but their extreme position is challenging those of us in the middle and those of us at the other extreme to state our positions/values/concerns.

Just what we need to have a healthy debate.

What’s in a Name?

The main reason I got my graduate certificate in geriatric care management (2008) was to bring my skills up to date as I shifted from hands-on caregiving to consulting. So much of the suffering I’ve seen in my work could have been prevented with better information and prior planning.

For example, I work with an elderly woman who was diagnosed some years ago with myasthenia gravis, a degenerative neurological disease that can result in difficulties with swallowing and increased weakness in the arms and hands. Simple daily tasks like feeding and dressing oneself become impossible. As she begins to experience these disabilities it is obvious that none of her healthcare practitioners have discussed this condition with her. After the initial diagnosis the subject was dropped. Instead her various health care practitioners tell her how great she looks and that she will get to be 100. Now, at 94 and living alone, she is experiencing all those symptoms. She is caught by surprise. There is no plan. It’s crisis time.

Initially I called myself a geriatric care manager. This didn’t feel right. I don’t want to manage anyone and most adults don’t want to be managed. Then I tried geriatric care consultant which is a better description. Also people of my generation are used to working with consultants. However feedback from friends and colleagues was that most people hate the term geriatric.

A good friend asked me point blank “what was I trying to accomplish in my work with clients and their families?” My answer? Aging well! Working with individuals and their networks to design a style of life uniquely tailored to his/her specific circumstances. Key words: collaboration---coaching---confronting---creating.

Now---how do I put that on a business card?

Catching Up

I was really surprised to find that I had not done a blog entry since the end of May which was almost 6 weeks ago. I can see that I have a ways to go in this new world of websites, blogs and social networks because it seems as if I just did this last week. I think my age is showing.

In the interim I have been consulting with clients, reading, and finishing a spinning project.

Consults have ranged from aging and two addictions (alcoholism and gambling), end-stage care issues for the family of someone with mental illness; suggestions on how to partner with parents to explore housing options; and the challenge of getting family and healthcare practitioners working together on behalf of an elder.

I love this job!

I will confess to being a perpetual student. I get caught up in reading and reading and reading. Most recently I discovered a biography of Erik Erikson by Lawrence J. Friedman. Much of my M.A. work was on lifecycle development in the second half of life and focused on Erickson’s theories. Of course reading the biography got me interested in rereading some of Erickson’s books, for example, Young Man Luther, Gandhi's Truth and The Life Cycle Completed.

I was excited to discover that there was an extended version of The Life Cycle Completed. I learned from the biography that Joan Erickson was not only a teacher and innovator in her own right---she had also been a close collaborator with her husband from the beginning. They had worked for decades on the development of lifecycle theory. Joan Erikson died at 94 in 1997, three years after Erik who was 92. They continued to rework their theories as they engaged/endured the vicissitudes of their own aging process.

Joan Erickson collected these insights into a Ninth Stage of Development. More about this ninth stage later.